Pale Cheese

Today I was making a sandwich in between my classes and I looked at the cheese I had just bought...it wasn't really yellow like I've grown to know Kraft slice cheese...it was pale. I looked at it a little sideways because I had definitely taken a minute to buy it because the price between Kraft and some other brand was almost $4 and to think what I had bought looked less real. I'm sure there is cheese in there but definitely less of it. This made me think about what I see around me every day. Everyone is less and less real, every product, every song, every person. Even the all natural aren't what they seem. We buy 100% juice not thinking that the pasteurization process probably takes out of a lot of the nutrients. We buy music artists' tracks thinking they're so real not thinking about how most of those songs were watered down, censored, and hand shucked by music labels in order to force feed the masses (hmm...mad cow disease anyone?). We, as humans have even become so unreal. I admit I've become, like my brother stated in his blog, "a programmed robot designed to go from work to school, process the information save it and then zone out." Are we real anymore? How many times do we take the time to really notice who we are, what we like, what we have a gift for? I know that for foreign families getting an elite education so you can get an elite job is sometimes stressed so hard that it seems almost impossible to think about yourself successful without formal, elite, university education. One of the downfalls to that is that "elite educations often tend to deter students from pursuing non-high paying jobs, thus essentially closing a world of possibilities" (~Malcolm Edwards) and in that often writing a lot of stories titled A Dream Deferred when the chances pass you by.

I feel like personally I should be getting awards. I beat Verizon to the Droid. I've been droid for mad long. I think its so crazy that my couple of years in college have almost been like waking up from serious hypnosis. All this time I went along with what I was told to do without truly thinking for myself. Get into this program, study hard, take this test, get into this school and to keep you in line we'll accept small burst of your passion but only enough to keep you well rounded not enough to cause any incongruities in the perfect bubble for your life. Don't get me wrong, I couldn't be more greatful to my parents,family, really good teachers, and the opportunites I have been afforded but it was my fault for not stepping up and mentally making the decisions myself to go after what was good for me. It was so serious that changing my major was more than just getting a few papers signed. It was a battle with myself. I was so scared because outside of math, science, and related technology I didn't know what else I could do well enough to step out on. It's one of those moments they talk about in Bible study..kind of like Jonah and the wale. There was a sense of urgency in my need to change but I didn't know what to do so I was scared and stepping out on faith had seemed like something off the path because there was no longer a yellow brick road for me to follow and they don't make ruby slippers in a men's size 14 so my chances of making it back home weren't evident. I've written poems about being alone and feeling separated but until you have to make a decision that truly only affects you either super negatively or positively and no one can help you, no one can guide you, and no one can decipher it for you...that's a type of loneliness you don't know but is similar to some bacteria in your stomach - necessary.

So now that I've made my jump and realized God really is there I'm moving forward on this new path. This time I can see my passions (music, dance, art, food, making people smile) and I want to find a way to tie those into my journey. I want to become more real, more me and weed out all the catalyst, preservatives and dyes that have found their way into the definition of this Andrew that are no longer needed. I want to become less like pale cheese..maybe more like sharp cheddar.



In an effort to rebuild my writing skills I've decided to rebirth myself. I'm going to crawl and try to write a short unedited and maybe long "something" depending on the spirit related to my blog from now on. I appreciate criticism but be respectful someone's passion is just as delicate as an ecosystem..it'll still go on but the slightest harshness could change it forever...


Dear Manufacturer,

I'm writing this letter because I am unhappy with your product.
It was bought cuz it said all natural
but when i look under the list of facts
it doesn't seem quite factual
It says 4% juice no preservatives no additives
yet the ingredients list is long
and the main ingredient is last on it.
Things like force fed dreams and predetermined goals
stifled desires and partially hydrogenated thoughts
preclude the one thing I thought that I had bought
So included with this letter you'll find your product too
no disrespect but with all 96% of what you passed off as product too
Send it back when you get it right
let me give you a clue
I don't want it to say all natural
just 100% Andrew...

Continued Blessings